https://shaunteyoung.journoportfolio.comRSS Feed for Shaunte YoungenFri, 10 Apr 2026 00:00:00 +0100https://shaunteyoung.substack.com/p/life-you-want-embarrassing-to-admitI’ve been thinking about this idea that I haven’t actually let go of what I want, I’ve just made it sound more reasonable.The honest version is this. I want to wake up to the sound of waves, not visit them. I don’t want it to be a Saturday thing or something I plan around. I want it to be my normal. I want to live by the beach and write full-time.And when I say it like that, it immediately feels like too much. Not because it is, but because of everything it bumps up against in my real life. I ha...Fri, 10 Apr 2026 00:00:00 +0100https://shaunteyoung.substack.com/p/life-you-want-embarrassing-to-admithttps://medium.com/change-your-mind/noteverythingneedstobehealed-26b2d5abbb09?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2At some point, feeling uncomfortable became something we assumed needed fixing.If you feel restless, irritated, or off, it's assumed that something is wrong with you. Something unresolved and needs work. We’ve learned to treat every unpleasant feeling like a personal defect instead of asking what it might be responding to.That mindset sounds mature. It sounds self-aware. But it’s also exhausting.Not everything you feel is an injury.Some feelings are reactions to conditions that aren’t working. S...Wed, 14 Jan 2026 00:00:00 +0000https://medium.com/change-your-mind/noteverythingneedstobehealed-26b2d5abbb09?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/the-moments-we-dont-realize-are-the-last-ones-c065508182b0?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2I’ve been seeing a lot of posts about the first and last theory. It’s the realization that most of life’s endings happen quietly. No countdown. No fanfare. Just a normal moment that turns out to be the last time you ever do something.We celebrate firsts without thinking. First jobs. First apartments. First risks that worked. The first people who changed us. Beginnings get their own spotlight. We honor them, photograph them, talk about them like they’re proof we’re moving forward.But the lasts? T...Fri, 05 Dec 2025 00:00:00 +0000https://medium.com/change-your-mind/the-moments-we-dont-realize-are-the-last-ones-c065508182b0?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/healing-made-me-boring-e5b20d0b87b2?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2For most of my life, chaos has made me interesting.I always had a story, some drama, some person I needed to fix, some new version of myself I was trying to build out of the wreckage. It kept things spicy. I was exhausted, but at least I had content.Then I healed.And suddenly, there was nothing to report.No breakdowns disguised as breakthroughs. No overthinking until 3 a.m. No relationships built on adrenaline and overcompensation. Just… quiet.At first, I hated it. I felt flat. Like someone had...Thu, 20 Nov 2025 00:00:00 +0000https://medium.com/change-your-mind/healing-made-me-boring-e5b20d0b87b2?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/the-bad-influence/you-cant-meditate-your-way-out-of-fascism-8013e3983399?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2Every week, I try to write something hopeful, something that reminds people they’re still in control of their lives, their joy, and their peace.But lately, that doesn't feel very ethical.How do you talk about mindfulness when the world is on fire?How do you talk about “protecting your energy” when the air itself feels poisoned by hate?You can’t meditate your way out of what’s happening right now. You can’t journal away fascism.Every headline feels like a rerun of humanity’s worst moments: book b...Wed, 05 Nov 2025 00:00:00 +0000https://medium.com/the-bad-influence/you-cant-meditate-your-way-out-of-fascism-8013e3983399?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/sometimes-what-you-want-is-in-conflict-with-what-you-have-ca2e926d4719?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2Someone said to me recently, “Sometimes what you want is in conflict with what you have.”I’ve been sitting with that sentence all day.It’s a simple statement, but it hits like a truth you already knew and were hoping no one would say out loud. Because it’s one thing to want more, more peace, more freedom, more self-respect, and another thing to realize that wanting it might threaten the life you’ve built around not having it.We don’t talk enough about that tension. The quiet guilt of realizing t...Wed, 29 Oct 2025 00:00:00 +0000https://medium.com/change-your-mind/sometimes-what-you-want-is-in-conflict-with-what-you-have-ca2e926d4719?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/the-price-of-being-the-reliable-one-8e33eb49c419?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2There is a moment that reliable people know too well. You finish another long day, and the house is finally quiet. The list is done or close enough. Everyone has what they need. You should feel proud. Instead, you feel hollow. It sneaks up on you in small ways. The short answer you gave your kid. The way your shoulders live under your ears. The thought you push away when someone says you are amazing. You do not feel amazing. You feel maintained.Reliability reads like character, but it often func...Thu, 23 Oct 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/the-price-of-being-the-reliable-one-8e33eb49c419?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/illumination/when-ai-works-faster-than-you-expect-to-be-asked-for-more-90aac0707dc2?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2AI wasn’t sold to us as pressure. It was sold as freedom. Let the machines do the boring stuff, they said. You’ll finally have time for the meaningful work.But that isn’t how it works. When has technology ever lightened the load for long? Email was supposed to speed things up. Instead, you never log off. Smartphones were supposed to connect us. Now you can’t escape your boss.AI will be no different. The second it takes something off your plate, someone will hand you two more. What used to be eno...Sat, 11 Oct 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/illumination/when-ai-works-faster-than-you-expect-to-be-asked-for-more-90aac0707dc2?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/chain-letters-didnt-curse-you-guilt-did-8f60bd8de7df?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2Remember those chain letters that promised disaster if you didn’t hit “forward”?Turns out, that wasn’t superstition. It was training.You learned early that saying no invites punishment.We used to laugh at those emails. “Forward this or else heartbreak, failure, or bad luck.” But when life starts handing you one storm after another, tell me you don’t feel that flicker… maybe I asked for this. Maybe I deserve it.That feeling is guilt. And guilt is the nastiest curse of them all.It hides behind you...Thu, 09 Oct 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/chain-letters-didnt-curse-you-guilt-did-8f60bd8de7df?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/being-relatable-is-keeping-you-mediocre-ade0921935c9?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2When my first book came out, I didn’t tell many people. If someone asked, I’d smile and shrug. “It’s nothing big.”I said that even though I had poured myself into it for months. Even though I stayed up late writing after the kids went to bed. Even though seeing my name on the cover made me feel something I can’t quite describe.I downplayed it because I didn’t want people to think I was full of myself. I wanted to be easy to talk to. I wanted to be liked.No, what I really wanted was to stay relat...Sat, 04 Oct 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/being-relatable-is-keeping-you-mediocre-ade0921935c9?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://short.sweet.pub/stop-apologizing-for-wanting-more-115413806cc8?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2You keep telling yourself to just be grateful.The house. The job. The family. The calendar that proves you’re “needed.”And you are grateful. But you’re also restless. That restlessness doesn’t politely fade, it gnaws.We’ve been trained to think wanting more makes us selfish. So you bury it. You smile and say “blessed,” then cry in private. You scroll highlight reels and convince yourself your hunger is entitlement dressed up as ambition.It isn’t.Wanting more doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It me...Sun, 28 Sep 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://short.sweet.pub/stop-apologizing-for-wanting-more-115413806cc8?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/writers-blokke/the-writing-niche-hiding-in-plain-sight-a69fbf8fd099?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2Writers talk about craft, creativity, and passion. But let’s be honest, eventually, the question every writer whispers is the same.How do I make this pay?You can grind on freelancing platforms, pitch brand work until your inbox is a graveyard, or pray your newsletter blows up before your rent is due. All of those paths can work, but they’re crowded, unpredictable, and exhausting.There’s another lane. A quiet one. And almost no one tells you about it.Grant writing.It’s not glamorous. You won’t be...Sat, 27 Sep 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/writers-blokke/the-writing-niche-hiding-in-plain-sight-a69fbf8fd099?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/hydrate-or-haterate-2df3f3e6f8df?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2Hate is just hunger in disguise. Miss enough sleep, meals, or sunlight, and suddenly every engagement post feels like a personal attack. Your spirit’s on 2% battery, and pettiness starts sounding like common sense.I saw a clip that said, “Take care of yourself so you don’t become a hater,” and it clocked me. Not because I’m out here throwing tomatoes at strangers, but because I know how petty exhaustion can get. Skip meals. Skip sunlight. Skip the friend who tells you the truth. Burnout shrinks...Tue, 23 Sep 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/hydrate-or-haterate-2df3f3e6f8df?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/i-turned-40-and-didnt-fall-apart-de20de7f29e3?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2When I turned 40, I didn’t have a crisis, a party, or a sudden desire to run a marathon (already doing that). What I did have was an ordinary year, filled with small shifts, quiet wins, and a lot of unlearning. I didn’t fall apart. I didn’t reinvent myself. But I did learn a few things that stuck, and they’re shaping how I carry everything that comes next.Here are 10 real-life lessons I took from my 40th year… no glow-up, just the truth.Better planning didn’t solve it. I finally stopped acting l...Wed, 17 Sep 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/i-turned-40-and-didnt-fall-apart-de20de7f29e3?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/take-your-life-out-of-airplane-mode-a9567bb95fdb?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2You’re functioning. You’re “fine.” You answer texts, pay bills, post a birthday caption. And yet your life feels like a phone stuck on airplane mode. The screen lights up. The signal is dead.You’re not drained because you’re performing life. Smiling in rooms that don’t deserve you. Filling calendars because stillness makes you nervous. Calling burnout a season when it’s a lifestyle you’ve built to look impressive.Meanwhile, your body keeps sending alerts. Brain fog that lands at 3 p.m. Sunday dr...Mon, 15 Sep 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/take-your-life-out-of-airplane-mode-a9567bb95fdb?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/what-if-your-kids-remember-the-tired-you-most-76e4b371909b?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2Your kids won’t remember everything.Not the late-night lunch prep. Not the third load of laundry you folded while muttering curses into a sock. Not which shoes you bought them in fifth grade, or how you stayed up ‘til 2 a.m. making holidays look effortless.They’ll remember you. But not every version of you. They’ll remember the version that showed up the most.And that’s where it hits, because sometimes, that’s not the version you meant to leave behind.When my daughter calls me “so serious,” I wo...Tue, 09 Sep 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/what-if-your-kids-remember-the-tired-you-most-76e4b371909b?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/10-signs-youre-the-main-character-in-a-very-boring-tragedy-e17de7a72cbb?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2Most people aren’t failing in big, obvious ways. They’re just stuck. Quietly. Comfortably. Waiting for something to change while doing everything the same. If you’ve been going through the motions and calling it “being responsible,” you might be starring in a very slow personal disaster. Here are ten signs.If this list hit a nerve, good. That means there’s still something inside you that cares. You don’t have to burn your life down. But you do have to stop pretending that numbness is normal. Cha...Fri, 05 Sep 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/10-signs-youre-the-main-character-in-a-very-boring-tragedy-e17de7a72cbb?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/this-is-what-wasting-your-life-looks-like-998d61ad8042?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2It doesn’t look like failure. It looks like replying “haha sounds good” to texts you don’t care about. It looks like watching three hours of TV while holding your phone, then calling it “unwinding.” It looks like doing the same crap every day and calling it a routine, when it’s actually just a rut in disguise.Wasting your life looks productive. You’re “busy.” You’re “trying.” You’ve got a whole list of things you’ll get to eventually. But you won’t. You’re lying to yourself and calling it planni...Fri, 29 Aug 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/this-is-what-wasting-your-life-looks-like-998d61ad8042?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/what-if-youre-not-actually-stuck-04ffc7cd66a5?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2There’s a moment that sneaks up on you.You’re sitting in a life that looks mostly fine, maybe even good, and yet something inside you is restless. Not chaotic. Not miserable. Just… done.And still, you stay.Because you’re supposed to.Because you built this. Because it’s stable.Because being grateful is what mature people do.But what if the problem isn’t that you’re stuck?What if the problem is that you keep waiting for permission?We wait for a breakdown.We wait for divine timing.We wait for signs...Tue, 19 Aug 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/what-if-youre-not-actually-stuck-04ffc7cd66a5?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/when-your-routines-expire-bffb8e99b469?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2If it isn’t feeding your peace or your bank account, it’s up for review.Some routines have expiration dates. They don’t come stamped on the label. You only notice when the day feels heavier than it should, when you keep doing the same steps and end up bored with the results.School starts this week for my kids, and every August I feel the same tug. New notebooks. New schedules. New intentions. Grownups don’t get a supply list, but we still need a reset. Not because life is falling apart, but beca...Sun, 10 Aug 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/when-your-routines-expire-bffb8e99b469?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/when-the-life-you-built-becomes-a-cage-you-decorated-35e37db4e33e?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2I used to pray for a life that looked like this.A steady job. Kids who are healthy. A calendar full of birthday parties, deadlines, and brunches. A marriage that didn’t implode. Groceries in the fridge. Gas in the car. A roof that doesn’t leak.And for a while, that was enough.But lately, I’ve been catching myself in these moments, subtle, quiet moments where I feel… caged. Not trapped, exactly. Just padded in comfort and predictability to the point of numbness. Like I spent so long trying to bui...Fri, 08 Aug 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/when-the-life-you-built-becomes-a-cage-you-decorated-35e37db4e33e?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/healing-made-me-meaner-not-sorry-a028bf82b9f5?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2They said healing would make me softer. That I’d start attracting better energy, speak more kindly, stop reacting so quickly. They told me I’d become peaceful. Radiant. Maybe even magnetic.But no one mentioned that healing might also make me… meaner.Not petty mean. Not cruel. Not bitter.I’m talking boundary mean.I’m-tired-of-over functioning mean.I-don’t-have-it-in-me-to-people-please mean.The kind of mean that isn’t actually mean at all, just unfamiliar to people who were used to the version of...Thu, 24 Jul 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/healing-made-me-meaner-not-sorry-a028bf82b9f5?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://shaunte-young.medium.com/the-version-of-you-that-has-to-die-cb9ad5436814?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2They rarely tell you that the hardest part of growth isn’t the hustle, the habits, or even the healing.It’s the grieving.Becoming the version of yourself you’re meant to be requires the death of the one you’ve known longest. The one who protected you. Who played it safe. Who did what was needed to get through. The one who made themselves small to feel secure.You might resent that version now. You might blame them for how stuck you feel. But they kept you alive.And if you’re reading this, it mean...Thu, 10 Jul 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://shaunte-young.medium.com/the-version-of-you-that-has-to-die-cb9ad5436814?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://shaunte-young.medium.com/the-quiet-grief-of-outgrowing-the-life-you-once-loved-7de1e00b9ba3?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2Author’s Note: This story first appeared in a Medium publication and helped so many people find my work. I’ve revised and expanded it here with a fresh intro and new clarity for the season I’m in now. If it meets you where you are, I hope it resonates all over again.Lately, I’ve been paying attention to the way my life no longer fits.Not in a dramatic, burn-it-all-down way. But in the quiet shifts, the way conversations feel off, routines feel heavier, and things I used to crave now feel like an...Thu, 10 Jul 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://shaunte-young.medium.com/the-quiet-grief-of-outgrowing-the-life-you-once-loved-7de1e00b9ba3?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/your-self-care-is-making-you-easier-to-exploit-a86f282eac48?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2They told me to light a candle.To breathe deep.To stretch and journal and soften.To regulate before I react.And I did. I did all of it.I’ve written about wellness, practiced mindfulness, sat still with my rage, and tried to spiritualize it into something more palatable. But last week, I sat in my car and cried for 17 minutes, and nothing I had learned, not the mantras, the magnesium, or the playlists, could stop the weight from landing all at once.The world has been heavy. I don’t need to explai...Fri, 04 Jul 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/your-self-care-is-making-you-easier-to-exploit-a86f282eac48?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/youre-not-lazy-you-re-under-inspired-d46c62fbf526?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2We aren’t tired because we’re doing too much. We’re tired because what we’re doing doesn’t light us up anymore.It’s not a hustle issue. It’s a soul issue.We wake up, we get through the day, we check the boxes. Everything runs. Nothing moves us. We’ve built lives that are optimized, efficient, scheduled to the minute, but deeply uninspiring. We function, but we don’t feel. And when we start to feel that disconnect, we assume it’s a personal flaw. We call ourselves lazy. Unmotivated. Behind.But wh...Tue, 24 Jun 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/youre-not-lazy-you-re-under-inspired-d46c62fbf526?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/illumination/how-to-process-breaking-news-without-breaking-yourself-3d7437718434?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2If you’ve been following the chaos that erupted after ICE raids, you’ve probably felt that familiar knot in your stomach, the one that comes from watching history unfold through your phone screen.I had to log off three times this week just to stop my jaw from clenching.But most people won’t tell you: how you consume this information is just as important as what you’re consuming.When significant events like LA’s protests dominate the news cycle, our brains go into overdrive. We scroll, refresh, s...Fri, 20 Jun 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/illumination/how-to-process-breaking-news-without-breaking-yourself-3d7437718434?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/i-cried-in-my-car-today-17d5c77dd476?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2There are days when the weight of being a person feels unbearable.You wake up exhausted, before the emails, the headlines, and the needs of everyone else start screaming louder than your own. You try to move through the day like normal, but pressure is building behind your chest. And at some point, between back-to-back meetings, or after checking your bank account, or reading yet another horrifying news update, you break.Quietly. Alone. In a car. In the bathroom. In your head.Today, that was me....Wed, 18 Jun 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/i-cried-in-my-car-today-17d5c77dd476?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/the-hardest-part-of-growing-outgrowing-the-person-you-fought-to-become-1a9934c06952?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2There’s a version of me I fought to become.She survived things I don’t talk about in detail. She built routines, gathered achievements, made people proud. She was polished. Palatable. Productive.She was everything I thought I needed to be to feel safe. And for a while, she worked.I built the perfect version of myself, the one who looked the part, received praise, and kept the peace. But eventually, she started to break me.But here’s the thing: you can be proud of who you were and still know she’...Mon, 16 Jun 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/the-hardest-part-of-growing-outgrowing-the-person-you-fought-to-become-1a9934c06952?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2https://medium.com/change-your-mind/the-3-am-realization-that-changes-everything-ac0ad2f9a578?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2It was 3:17 AM when I finally told myself the truth.Not in therapy. Not in a journal. Not during one of those performative, tequila-soaked friend talks where we pretend we’ve got it all figured out.No, this was different. This kind of quiet confession only happens when it’s just you, the ceiling, and the weight of what you’ve been avoiding.I was living someone else’s version of success.And maybe you are too.Those middle-of-the-night wakeups aren’t random. They’re soul alarms designed to go off w...Wed, 11 Jun 2025 00:00:00 +0100https://medium.com/change-your-mind/the-3-am-realization-that-changes-everything-ac0ad2f9a578?source=rss-76364a1ec8a0------2